Is your sex life...Slip slidin’ away?
Sex — it can put you in a very difficult position...
There are many simple explanations why occasionally you may not feel like engaging in a bit of ‘rumpy pumpy’ with your beloved. You may be tired, stressed, or worried. You might have a headache, you may have thrush, or be overwhelmed at work. Heck, it may just be that you are feeling too full from overeating, or that you are experiencing a particularly bad case of flatulence (and you’re not feeling especially sexy because of it)!
However, if your decreased libido is an ongoing issue, or is a frequently occurring problem, then you may have a more serious issue. Please see, ‘Beware the Passion-Killers’ below.
There are many causes of chronic (long-term) decreased libido. So, how do you know where to begin?
Well, you start by having sex with your significant other of course! If this doesn’t help, then you should really consider seeing someone else! And no, I’m not recommending that you have an affair, or initiate a ‘threesome’. What I mean, is that you make an appointment to see a Naturopath or a Counsellor.
There's only so many times you can play the 'headache card' with your lover without also arousing suspicion.
Sex - it isn't just for making babies, or amusement purposes
Good, regular, safe sex (with someone you trust) is vitally important for your health. In fact, your willingness to participate in this activity reflects your overall level of wellbeing.
Among many things, regular sex will help to balance your hormones, improve your relationship with your lover, and lift your mood. It can lower your blood pressure, and it can improve your self esteem. Sex, as many of you will already know, is also a good work-out (it burns quite a few calories, and boosts the metabolism). It also helps you to sleep better, reduces stress, and makes you feel calm. Sex satisfies you.
Apart from redirecting your focus, energy, and blood-flow to your nether regions, when you have sex you fire-off the following hormones throughout your body:
The ‘romance’ hormone
The ‘anti-aging’ hormone
This hormone potently contributes to your sex drive. It contributes to sexual thought and fantasy. Interestingly, you can also increase this hormone by just indulging in sexual thought and fantasy! Thus, effectively creating a ‘vivacious circle’…
This has a big influence on our seductive sexual behaviour.
Note: And, if you can reach climax then all the better. Orgasm releases endorphins into your blood stream. Endorphins are ‘feel good’ substances that also inhibit pain.
Some female-friendly 'sexy watchings'...
Game of Thrones
Masters of Sex
Outlander (Auch aye the noo!!!)
Red Shoe Diaries
Shameless (US version)
Body of Evidence
Eyes Wide Shut
Two Moon Junction
Y Tu Mama Tambien
9 1/2 Weeks
I'm bringing sexy back
Beware the Passion-Killers
Medications/drugs that can decrease your sex drive
(they can also cause vaginal dryness, leading to painful sex)
— Birth control pill (please refer to my blog-post on The Pill for more information)
— Blood pressure medication
— Cholesterol lowering meds
— Nicotine, and
— Opiate-based painkillers
Conditions that can decrease your sex drive
(they can also cause vaginal dryness, leading to painful sex)
— Cancer (and the treatment of)
— Bacterial Vaginosis (BV)
— Bladder issues
— Digestive problems
— Oestrogen imbalance
— Nutritional deficiencies
— Pelvic pain
— Prostate issues
— Underactive thyroid function
— Thrush, and
— Vaginal dryness
It's what's on the inside that counts
In a previous post on Diva Cups, I told you that commercial brands of feminine hygiene products can not only irritate your ‘delicate bits’, and cause allergic reactions, but they also pose a very real health risk. Many health conditions stem from an insidious build-up of chemicals, rather than a one-time exposure. The mucous membranes that line your vagina are highly porous, and chemicals can therefore quickly cross into the blood stream.
Commonly available lubricants contain: paraben perservatives, glycerine, glycols, parfum, and mineral oils. None of these ingredients are good for you, let alone healthful for the delicate environment of your ‘fanny’!
'Yes' lubricants are different — they're natural & gentle
This brand uses certified organic plant extracts. ‘Yes’ is free from fragrances, colour, taste, and residues. These lubricants are pH balanced, hydrating, and healing (therefore providing effective everyday comfort for many menopausal women).
It’s also worth considering that because these products are pH balanced they could prove helpful for everyday use if you suffer from reoccurring Thrush or Bacterial Vaginosis. These conditions can thrive in a environment that is too alkaline. Also consider that most common commercial lubricants contain glycerine which can actually feed a vaginal infection!
Note: You should see a Naturopath if you do find yourself constantly having to use this type of lubricant to maintain correct vaginal pH. You may have an underlying health condition that is causing this issue.
Under-lubricated, uncomfortable sex gives new meaning to the term 'dry humping' — but this version is not exactly what you'd describe as 'good times'!
Win one of six 'Yes' intimate lubricants!
Comment below with Yes.Yes! Yesss! and the product you’d like to win. (all winners will also receive a DVD copy of the film ‘Knocked-up’)
The winners will be drawn Sunday 1 February — so check back after 8pm on that night!
You’ll also need to be a lisasaid.so subscriber (if you’re not already)
Note: Untick the ‘post to public’ box, if you don’t want to publicise your intentions on facebook.
Yes — oil based lubricant
This is a dual purpose intimate lubricant and massage oil.
Note: Do not use this lubricant with condoms. You can however, play with it in water!
Yes — water based lubricant
You can use this product with condoms, latex and silicone toys. (As well as penises, vaginas, and hands!)
Yes — baby (Two Pack)
A fertility friendly, lubricant system which enables couples trying to conceive.
Note: this is product is simply used during ovulation.
Fake it till you make it
It’s important to jump back on that proverbial stead because regular (safe) sex is very good for you. However, rather than feeling like you have to have sex with your partner (out-of-duty, guilt, or compassion…) — you be the one to initiate it!
It makes things easier when it’s your idea, and you make it about you — and what you want & need.
I encourage my clients to focus on what they’ll get out of indulging in sex — radiant skin and stress-relief usually does the trick! Where necessary, I also encourage them to use an intimate lubricant (like ‘Yes’) to take the pressure off.
The more you have sex, the more you remove the anxiety and apprehension you’ve attached to it.
The more you have sex, the more you begin to correct the imbalances that may be the underlying cause of your initial disinterest i.e hormonal imbalance, ongoing stress, and lost intimacy with your partner.
The more you have sex, the more you want to have sex.
Don't ignore it, or it WILL go away
If after initiating, and participating in sex a few times, you don’t start to enjoy it, then please see a Naturopath or a Counsellor.
If you think your problem is physical, mental, or a lifestyle issue, then pay a visit to your Naturopath. We can discuss certain foods, minerals, amino-acids, and herbs that can improve your libido either directly, or indirectly (by addressing another health concern you may be experiencing).
If you think the problem is emotional or psychological then please make an appointment to see a counsellor.